The Somewhat Amazing Adventures of Project Grow-A-Friend

You can't see them, but lying on the top of the carefully composed soil in this cup on a water filled Nesquik lid, fiftyish nearly microscopic packages of life are waiting to spring forth into existence. 

It started the other day when my father didn't awaken me from my morning hibernation to give me my mail and instead gave me the package of a packet of a packet of fifty African Hybrid Fantasy Teacup Violet seeds later that afternoon. I was kind of worried when i opened the package.The packet, which I learned today contained a smaller packet, didn't look like it had seeds in it. It looked like this:     .      .      .. Ok so blogger doesn't want to upload the image but just imagine half a golden ticket that is not very packet like and if you shake it you can't hear seeds.I was even more worried today when i further investigated, but we'll get to that. I didn't have any time to plant that day so i waited until today to do the opening and planting and stuff. 

So today i read the instructions on the back of the not so packety packet and also some instructions in the instruction manualish thing that came with the alleged packet of seeds. They wanted me to germinate all the seeds at the same time in some miniature egg carton looking thing. That's more than I bargained for. This is project grow-A-friend not grow-50-friends. That's to much to handle.I decided I could do just one seed instead and went to the store to get some soil and a plastic pot thing - you know, those things they put plants in that are made of plastic. Well, those things that they put plants in and are made of plastic are hard to come by. Also, soil is not sold at the local store where you buy that kind of stuff except in like fifty pound bags. i don't need that much so I decided to improvise. I went the dixie cup route for planting and prepared for soil hunting. 

Soil hunting was a flop. Armed with my shovel and collecting cup, I walked to the river and it turns out, our river doesn't have beach where all the soil is. All the soil sucks and then the ground just drops off into the river like a cliff. I know down there in the water, there is good soil, but I'm not that determined so I found some leftover manure from our garden to construct my soil from. 

I don't know if I told you this, but at the old people swap meet, I got some Humate and Sea Kelp for my soil and i mixed a teaspoon of each with my manure for maximum growing potential. Then, as per instruction I put my creation in a zippy bag and added some water for it to soak up. I had what looked like the perfect ratio of water to soil and I was ready to trasport it to my cup, but then i thought maybe i needed a little more water. i don't know the absorbing capasity of Humately kelpish manure, so I put a little more in the bag and instantly had manure soup on my hands. It was terrible. I don't know if you know this, but once you've made manure soup, it's really hard to separate out the water. I would say it's kind of impossible to just drain it out. I dumped it in my cup and got some of the collected water from the top and then added more dry cow crap to balance it out. Just fyi, something in my soil mixture did not have the most delightful of aromas and i was not having a ton of fun at this point in time. With some complex tinkering of the soil creation, I had a decent looking cup of dirt for planting in. 

Then, I opened the packet. To my surprise, in the packet, was another packet. In this packet was nothing. I'm serious. I kind of believe I've been gypped. upon further investigation i found somethings that might be seeds, but I still kind of doubt that they're real. I've never seen anything so so small and Humately Kelpish Manure colored in my life. I dumped a few on the counter and promptly couldn't tell the difference between them and random specs of whatever is on the counter. I then decided I should tap a "seed" or two on the top of my soil. They're supposed to sit on top to germinate. Unfortunately, it''s hard to only dump one. Sooooooo... I have a lot of invisible seeds on some Poopy, kelpy, wet, humately stuff in my window sill. I can only hope my friend(s) will grow. 

Kansha Shimasu

That's right Globe, tis the season and it's coming. Therefore, it is time for the time where we say that important thing. But we can't say it until we have a word or couple hundred from our sponsor: the weekend. 

On Saturday I arose early, something I rarely do, and got in a bloody fight with that nearly tragically ended with a dead brother. Through this, I was able to attend the annual old people swap meet and go yard sailing very successfully. It's easy to go sailing when it's windy outside and windy it was. At the meet swap I purchased some Humate and Sea Kelp. For those of you that may not know I'm beginning a project I'm entitling "project grow a friend". This project entails me growing some African Hybrid Teacup Violets in my windowsill I've ordered the seeds, they haven't been shipped yet darnit, and the lady at the swap sold me the Humate and Kelp which will enrichify, nutrify, acidify and perfectify the growing environment for my friends. Using the bargaining skills I picked up during many excursions to mexico I talked her into giving me both the Humate and Kelp for the price of one bag of Kelp. Pretty nifty, I know. I'm thankful for Mexicans. At the various yard sales I attended I picked up some poker chips and an easy read book with no words. 

That night, I was texted into work at six instead of nine which was ridiculous and ridiculous because I finished the stuff they wanted me to do within the five hours I was scheduled and didn't need the three extra hours. It was also kind of nice because i got off at 11:56 instead of two and didn't even break the sabbath. Oh Yay. 

On Sunday it was more early mornining for me because church is already early and as the branch mission leader I must attend branch council which is an hour before. That night I was in charge of treats for branch prayer which I didn't attend, so I made my mom make some cookies and then went to the fireside I was singing at. The singing was good the speaker was ok. Speaking of the speaker, I'll do some analysis. He was a republican congressman who is now an old person. Therefore, he was a terrible speaker. That being said, while the man and I more than likely completely disagree politically it's no doubt that the United States of America has deep religious roots. Where I differ from conservatives is where I think the role of government is in religious affairs. The founders would agree with me that no religious principle aught to be imposed by government on the people. It is government's responsibility to create an environment accepting of all religious or not religious belief systems. It is true, as Brother Packard repeatedly said, that government officials should try to be ethically and morally straight but should not punish the American people for their sins. That's God's job. It would be ridiculous in the mind of any conservative for the government to order all people to be gay muslims. Likewise it is ridiculous that government should mandate the American people be straight and Christian. I did very much enjoy brother Packard's historical analysis, specifically that of the revolutionary war and G Washington's miraculous divinely inspired victories. I was also proud that he didn't jump on the tea party bandwagon of government established Christianity and that he didn't call democrats satan worshipers. 

SPEAKING OF SATAN! did you know you can make turkey out of Satan? You can . I learned about it the other day. 

In my last post, I asked a math question: "What is the square root of a square root sign?" Here's the answer

A Factor Tree With Square Roots